a brain nude

from brink-walker to barefoot epistemologist.

Author

Kaeya Majmundar
April 05, 2025

In high school, a classmate called me “shameless” as I handed out pencils engraved with Kaeya for President.

He meant it as an insult.
I was into it.

It was the first time I consciously gave myself permission to be fully, unapologetically me.

The next day, I showed up dressed as Homer Simpson and passed out donuts.
The day after that, I campaigned even more audaciously ⬇️

I won.

Campaigning for High School Class President Circa 2010

That label—shameless—stuck.
It still does.

Since then, I’ve wielded that energy through every chapter:

  • Getting eviscerated on Shark Tank at 20.

  • Raising $4M in venture funding at 28.

  • Shipping zero revenue for 15 straight quarters.

  • Publicly narrating all of it, in real time, here in On the Brink.

But when I published my first On the Brink essay on January 4, 2025, it was fueled by something else:

Desperation.
A feral need to prove anyone who bet against me wrong.

Today, I realized I have to work hard to even invoke that fuel source.
Whereas last I remembered, it was the only one I had.

I was on the way to Target with my sister, Sayani, to pick up the “insanely viral” (her words) Percy Pigs vegan candy (it’s delish), talking her through my logic for headquartering SwayID in Washington, D.C.

Sayani kept boiling it down to:

“Kaeya. Admit it. You just don’t want to be more than a mile away from me.”

Through my signature Cheshire grin, I said:

“You’re not wrong.
But you’re also missing the deeper context.”

Yes. I want to be close to her.
But not just because she’s my sister.

Because proximity to her helps regulate my nervous system.

She said, “You mean mental health.”

I said, “No.”

“My mental health will always zigzag. I manage life-or-death stakes on a daily basis. That won’t change until I retire. Which won’t happen until I die…
So I need infrastructure that helps me metabolize that stress.
That’s why you’re in my decision matrix for where to headquarter SwayID.”

That’s when I realized something big had changed in me.

My SwayID HQ decision matrix wasn’t just another strategic plan.
It was the first time I treated nervous system regulation as a core design input.

It still had all the usual elements which I learned and used religiously since 2019:

  • Weighted matrix with 6 key levers

  • Multi-dimensional criteria

  • Narrative asymmetry scores

  • Exit surface calculations

But this time, I was also consciously designing a nerve center 👀

Last year, I built a War Room Office in Berkeley—feelings unwelcome.
This year, I’m building a Control Room Office in DC—designed to metabolize them.

And it hit me:

My chemistry has shifted.

Not from the obsession to prove anyone wrong.
Not even from the thrill of being underestimated.

But from a marrow-deep obsession with sharpening my judgment.
To become the clearest, most useful instrument I can be for SwayID.

I used to equate shamelessness with doing whatever it took to convince others:

  • Getting a deal on Shark Tank at 20 by borderline begging—with glee.

  • Raising $4M in venture at 28 by borderline begging—with glee.

  • Shipping zero revenue for 15 Q’s of face plants—still with glee.

  • Publicly narrating all of it in On the Brink—since January 4, 2025.

But here’s the difference now. Today (Timestamp: April 5, 2025):

I noticed a new pattern:
When I’m at my weakest, I’m chasing, convincing, contorting to get what I want.
When I’m at my clearest, I receive more than I ever imagined possible.

So now, shameless means:

I don’t distort myself to be picked.
I get ultra-clear with myself—and build accordingly.

I do not beg anyone to pay attention.

I do:
Build in public.
Self-excavate in public.
Share my judgment, in full nakedness—
and allow natural gravitational pull to do its thing.

So:

On the Brink ends here:
Convincing mode, deactivated.

Brain Nudes begins now:
Clarity mode, dialed in.

Let’s dive deeper.
The water’s warm now.

Still Undeniably,
Kaeya
😈