Investor v. CEO: "We Have a Problem"

Investor: We have a problem. And by “we,” I mean you.

CEO: If this is about the next Earnings Call, I already know the numbers inside o…

Investor: This isn’t about numbers. It’s about kids eating your product.

CEO: That’s not on us.

Investor: It is when your company is the punchline of a lethal trend.

CEO: We didn’t create the Twide Bod Challenge.

Investor: But you paid 45 influencers who participated in it. Here’s the list so far.

CEO: What were we supposed to do? Ban social media?

Investor: You could’ve killed the joke before it became a crisis. Instead, you fueled it.

CEO: "I fueled it" how? By selling soap tablets?

Investor: By making the tablets look like candy, by partnering with influencers who thought it was ok to do “the detergent dance” and joke about getting high on your soap tablets. Have you seen this video?

CEO: That wasn’t in the script. And those “detergent dance” posts weren’t even sponsored by us.

Investor: Doesn’t matter. You sponsored their other posts. Now these posts are viral. And now it’s your problem.

CEO: Do you think we should cut ties with these influencers?

Investor: I’m sorry. Did I back a dinosaur?

CEO: Excuse me?

Investor: This is not the prehistoric era. Today, you report to consumers and influencers—not the other way around.

CEO: Your point?

Investor: Cutting ties with influencers won’t erase the videos. Won’t stop the damage. It will only back your company into irreparable damage.

CEO: So what do you propose?

Investor: The company takes public accountability.

CEO: Do you have a fever? Since when do you ever…

Investor: Snap out of the Stone Age.

CEO: We’ll start with auditing our UGC and influencer marketing and begin implementing stricter safety and compliance protocols across the board. This is going to be a big overhaul. It’s 90%+ of our marketing ads…

Investor: UGC?

CEO: User Generated Content. Image, video, reviews, testimonials—real people sharing real experiences with our products. Just a warning, I’d estimate this makes up 90%+ of our advertising spend. This is no small eff…

Investor: Stop the vocabulary lesson. Go fix this. Now.

CEO: And the 45 influencers?

(Beat.)

We don’t scapegoat them. We embrace them as part of the solution.

Investor: That’s the CEO we backed.