Sink. Then Swim.

I used to think growth meant building muscles while swimming so I could stay above water.

In reality, every major inflection point in my life started the same way: by sinking.

From the weight of responsibility I wasn’t ready for yet.
Not emotionally. Not mentally. Not structurally.
There was no path to simply “come up for air.”

I was asked questions I didn’t know how to answer.
I mistook validation for feedback. I confused feedback with rejection.
I stayed stuck in this vicious loop for years.
I lashed out.
I sank deeper.

I reached for people’s hands.
I wanted to be rescued.
I got rescued.
I stopped drowning.
I stopped growing.

Then I stopped getting rescued.
“The choice is yours,” they kept saying, instead of giving me their hands.
I was trapped in the depth of my own evolution (or devolution).
So I started building my own scaffolding painfully, underwater.
And I started growing.

The thing is, I still haven’t breached the surface.
Now being under water feels just as natural as being above it.

First, we sink.
Then, we grow gills.
Now, we can swim.

-Kaeya